Tuesday, October 17, 2006
Going through the motions...
I rather feel like that lately, I'm just a bill paying, house cleaning, cooking, automaton.
I am sure I'm appriciated... somewhere.. by someone.. Am I being whiny?.. Am I asking too much?... Do I require constant pats on the back?...
I'm still muddling through, trying to be alright with loving, but not being loved. I went to therapy for a bit, and I suppose I'm too whiny... or.. not dedicated enough, I ended up with two wildly different diagnoses... both demanding drug usage. Which.. I flatly refused, so first one, then the other therapist basically told me that they could not help me unless I was drugged.
So.. I'm once more working on it alone.. using herbs, and self-guided reprogramming...
I joined a band of Gay people... and... I believe I am the only single female there... surrounded by happy couples, I end up leaving band more lonely than when I got there.
.
So.. that's my update... I'm lonely.. tired from working all the damn time, emotionally beaten down... and of course worried that she's just the latest in a line of people who've trained me to serve.
Transcribed in accordance
with the Prophecy by:
Angela at
10:14 PM
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